Why?

I didn't feel like blogging about hockey today - Geezus, Tammy - shock of all shocks, are you feeling okay? ;-) So instead I'm going to ponder. I have to ponder in a rambling, stupid, what the hell kind of way because it's complicated and I like to be as ridiculous as possible most times.

Shoot, why is there no spell check auto correcting my word-flubs? Oh well, lets run with this. Wordflubs and all.

Today's theme = Why?

Why ...

1 - ...is work driving me crazy? I mean, what the hell? Am I totally insane? Why can't I be thrilled with what I've got? It's like a million times better than Target or Walmart or lapdancing for my dinners. So I'm stressed because it feels all wrong, and I don't know why -- I love the people there. Most all of people there. And the people I don't really click with aren't even that bad. I definitely don't
hate anyone there. And, I know if I got fired or layed off tomorrow that I'd be sniveling about it being the best damn opportunity I've had for years. So crap. Why not be happy and zen and warm and fuzzy?

2 - ...do I insist on keeping people in my life close to me who aren't even remotely the type of people who should be influencing my life on a daily basis in the first place? C'mon, I'm a hell of a lot smarter than that. Maybe it's the whole, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger thing. But I'm not quite sure I buy
that at the moment. If I drank a bottle of bleach and it didn't kill me, it would absolutely not make me stronger. I probably couldn't walk around the block ever again after doing something like that, let alone eat Namiko's sushi or drink my own body weight in gin. So what? Sometimes it's better to throw out the damn bottle of bleach and find an eco-friendly bleach alternative instead.

3 - ... did it take me 19 years to get another tattoo? Yes, I am that old. And technically I don't quite have my new tattoo yet, but it's blazing and beautiful in my mind so happy early birthday to me. And Chris! And possibly Brenna, but I haven't confirmed that yet. ;-)

4 - ...did I buy open toe purple pumps with no clothes to go with them? :)

5 - ... did the Avalanche come out and play totally flat last night in Dallas (oh, Dallas - the bane of my early 20's!!!!)? Ok, I lied about there being no hockey in this post. I just can't help myself.

6 - ...do the radio announcers continue to use terms like "Finger, banged one off the back boards..." when making play by play calls concerning Av's defenseman Jeff Finger? Is it just me or does that just take you out of the element for
a wee moment? Hee hee hee. Ok Tammy, grow up!!!

7 - ...am I not sleeping right now? (I have to wake up in 5.25 hours, ouch - another long day ahead).

8 - ...did my mid-term project for Advanced Photoshop come off with this evil aggressive feel to it, when everyone else chose a happy funny space theme, I chose a burning orange-eyed, angry, dark, liquified, tortured kind of theme for my composite. Hmmmmm..... feeling a bit angry and angsty are we?

9 - ... did I never write the great American Novel and become filthy rich and horribly pathetic and stalked by crazed fans of my work? Ok, still working on that. It could happen (as soon as I find time to write more, after I find time to work up a better portfolio, after I find time to be mother-of-the-year, after I find time to do the laundry-dishes-walk the dog-and exercise, after work, after cooking, after filling all worldly obligations, after all that. It just might happen.

10 - ...did Sticks, our IT guys hermit crab, PINCH the CRAP out of me today??? I'm a nice mutha-flippin animal lover. Beotch!!!!! Ouch!!!!

Good god, do I seem like a huge ball of stress right now?

Well, I'm sure I'll wake up and it will all be better. It's just the Monday talking. Surely Tuesday will look brighter when I get there :)

At least I do have some wonderful people in my life right now, whom I am very thankful for -- you know who you are. Take a bow! Thanks for the blog-vent. I'll now return you to your regularly scheduled hockey post...

Cheers!